Amnio Results

Merritt Chandley Miley has NO chromosomal problems and also tested negative for fetal cholinesterase, which tests for spinal problems.  And she is still 100% girl! :)  We have our next appointment next week for the echo with a new doctor that I am very excited to meet (they call her "the machine").  And my next personal goal is just to get baby here full term.  I've started having alot of Braxton-Hicks contractions, which make me nervous.  I'm trying to take it easy.

I must say it again:  God is so good! He has answered so many prayers and He is wonderful.  Thank you for all the prayers.

"As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.  My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds, of your saving acts all day long - though I know not how to relate them all.  I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign LORD; I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone."
- Psalm 71:14-16

Party Pics

I will give Mattox the spotlight one more time here and then I'm sure I will be posting amnio results next week for you.

A friend told me today that God answers the little prayers too.  Absolutely.  Earlier this week there was an 80% chance of rain today.  I called the train rental people and they told me to "wait it out".  I am not one for rescheduling things... mainly because I'm doing good to get them done the first time.  So I just prayed all week - that Mattox's party would be great.  I personally needed a good fun day too.  Then by Thursday, the chance of rain went down to 20 and 10% and then sunshine and a high of 70 degrees.  Hallelujah!  So the train came.  And I was not feeling well Thursday and Friday, so thank you Gigi for everything you did while I rested!!!!!

Thank you to everyone who came! He has opened every single gift and played with them all after his nap!  I think the kids loved the train - but oh my - Mattox really LOVED the train.  He cried when it left.  He surprised us by blowing out the candles - we really didn't think he knew how yet.  I'll let the pictures do the talking.  Happy 2nd Birthday sweetie pie!  I ordered a DIY kit from Etsy and printed everything myself = super easy and cheap!

Cookies by Dream Cakes in Flowood

Loved these.  

Animal car and food train built by Gigi

Produce car and Log car

Hay Car

The train was behind the camera = the only reason Mattox is looking in this direction

                 

A little free advertising 

Sweet cakes

Cake and cookies by Dream Cakes in Flowood = yummy!

Make a wish!

Crying after the train left :(

 

I did not post any of his friends because I never know if their moms are ok with their child's picture being on the internet.  so i try to leave those out.  AND I could not get Mattox to stand still for 1 second to take a decent picture of him smiling... he only had eyes for the choo choo!  Thank you again everyone for making his day so special!

Mattox is 2!

When I think back to the day I had Mattox, I was expecting a male-version of Mati Claire = dark hair, dark eyes, and round 2 of the troubles with breastfeeding.  And boy oh boy did he prove me wrong! He still surprises me every single day! I looked around the operating room because I was sure they showed me the wrong baby.  I thought they were performing 2 sections in the same room and they had swapped babies.  Even Matt asked me who the real daddy was ;)  We were expecting a tiny baby around 5 lbs (he was always measuring small in 10th percentile on sonograms) and he came out surprising us at 7 lbs and 7 oz!  I remember asking Dr. T if she was sure he was mine.... and she replied (laughing) "yep - that's the only baby I pulled out a few seconds ago!"  Mattox didn't look like anyone we knew = light hair, blue eyes, and I learned within a few seconds that boys take their food very seriously.  He didn't sleep, he cried all the time, he never smiled, and he was just a very fussy baby! Something I was not used to! Just fyi, his eyes eventually turned light brown around 6 months old, he was a superb breastfeeder and never gave me a second of trouble, and is a great sleeper now! He sleeps around 12 hours at night in his own bed and a 2 hour nap everyday.  I don't want to scare any first time mothers out there! lol

Wow. My baby is now 2! I know most people think he acts very shy, quiet, and well behaved... but let me tell you - that boy is anything but! I joke that he is "bad" but he is really just ALL BOY! 2 years later, and I am still not used to it yet.  I can give him a bath before bedtime and by 8:00 the next morning his fingernails are dirty, he is covered in heaven-knows what, tee-tee'ing on something, and handing me a "boey" = booger.  That's his latest word by the way.  He is not much on words but he will let you know exactly what he is trying to say somehow or another.

I can't tell you how much I love this sweet little boy.  The bigger he gets the sweeter he gets.  He loves to rough-house with Daddy, but also loves to rock and snuggle with Mommy.  He loves to pass out sugar -- and pass gas.  ;)  I have to joke about that because he.can.not.stand.a.dirty.diaper.  Mattox just moved up to a size 6 diaper - puhleaze hurry up and get potty trained!!  He is extremely interested in the potty lately but no success yet.   But seriously, I am still getting used to the roughness, toughness, and just plain dirtiness of boys.

He dearly loves to read.  If I fall behind in the bath/bedtime ritual, he will climb in his chair and start reading to himself.  *swoon*   He is getting SO tall.  Its hard for me to rock or hold him (especially with my growing belly) so I have learned to really appreciate the time we do get to be close.  And I know I won't be holding him much longer because he only wants to PLAY.  He loves his trains "choo choo's" and his cars.  I think its hilarious that he can't say the name of any animal but only what they say if that makes sense.   A dog is a "ruff ruff"  and a cow is a "moooo"  but he can't say dog or cow.  Or won't.
And he FINALLY just started calling MC's name = "klar".  Once he said "adda klar" but he's back to just "klar".

He tries so hard to play with her, and she usually won't give him the time of day.  But she likes to steal his toys.  Sometimes I think she could be the little sister and it would be more fitting.   I find her pestering him more than the other way around.  They do get along for the most part though.  He does his own thing.  He's very adventurous and not scared of much.  And very stubborn.  Hm.. wonder who he gets that from? ;)  And he is an awesome helper!  He is a total goofball.  Yet, for the most part he is a very serious little man, but I melt when I see him smile.  He is constantly running on all cylinders so I think he doesn't have time to stop and smile because he is thinking so hard!

His hair is so light that people ask me if he belongs to us.  It appears he takes after my sister and my dad although I think he is identical to my baby pics.  He has got a TON of hair.  Birthmark is still underneath it all and I love it.  A man at church asked me one day if Mattox had gray hair.  I just replied, "gray, blonde, red, white, brown, light brown, and every color in between!"

After what seemed like a "train" Christmas and train big boy bedroom, I really resisted a train theme party but in the end I could not deny the boy his "choo choo."  He LOOOOVES trains.  So I will post pics of the "Choo Choo Mattox is 2!" party later.

I wish time would just stop with him.  He can go to the local community college nearby and live at home as long as he wants.  I don't care if he's 50 and still living here with us!  I'm sure he would still be keeping us entertained!  I love him to the moon and back!

   

O Blogs

I am sure most of you might be tired of hearing about omphaloceles.  I have added a blog list of other omphalocele and gastrochisis moms and babies.  They have really helped me through this process.  There is a video HERE that is just amazing to sum up one child's story.  I warn you that it is graphic but really shows what we're dealing with.  I pray that my baby girl can overcome this.  I don't think I'm as technical savvy as Karsie's dad, so I doubt we will have a video like that to share... but I am working on upgrading the blog to make it easier to navigate her story.  I have also come across blogs where the child does not survive.  I added one in the list, but they don't update it for obvious reasons (and I mean that in the most sincere way - please don't take that wrong).  But these that I listed have really helped motivate me and keep me positive.  Just thought I'd share for those of you interested.

Amnio Appt

I had written a post the night before my amnio, but it was very sad and depressing ... so I decided not to post it.  Lets just say I have cried alot on the days leading up to my appointment.  Was beginning to get down and had an overall negative feeling about it.  The procedure has really been out of mind the last 2 weeks so I honestly did not think about the results or any of the possibilities.  She doesn't move as much as my other 2 babies did, and I remind myself that every baby is different and that does not mean anything.

I have learned that I deal with issues by ignoring them, pushing them out of mind or on the back burner.   But eventually it will catch up with you and you are forced to deal with it.

March 1st crept quickly.  The amnio really decides ours and her future.  It can be the greatest or worst day ever.  Babies with omphaloceles have UP to a 60% chance of having a chromosomal abnormality among other defects.   In the middle of one of my cry-sessions, I started praying (I tend to do that when I feel out of control).  I was telling God that we/doctors can fix an omphalocele.... but I can't fix a chromosomal problem... I can't fix trisomy... I can't fix this.  Now I am beginning to think that I am going a little insane. My thoughts range from one extreme to the other.  Then I feel guilty for even thinking some things.  But I heard God whisper in my ear "[No YOU can't fix it] ............. but I can."   The I WAS, the I AM, and the I WILL BE.  He has been reminding me that even if she does have a chromosomal problem and doesn't survive here on earth, she will be okay.  still.  She will be with HIM! And that's SO much better than life here.  No, it doesn't make it any easier but it does give me the peace and understanding that I so desperately need.  So I went to the appointment very frazzled and pessimistic.  I thought that overall we were due some more bad news soon.  Matt kept my mind at ease while we played Family Feud on his iPhone.  Waiting in the waiting room for 1 hour didn't help.  

We did the ultrasound first and then the amnio.  I was floored with emotions. And quite the opposite of what I was expecting.  Baby girl looks GREAT (minus the omphalocele)!!! Dr. P couldn't find anything that had developed since our last appointment.  AND she has a fully functioning umbilical cord now!  (She had the second artery last time but there was not adequate blood flow or it appeared to be 'cut off' somehow) but that second artery was working fine! Wow.  Praise God!  He looked at her heart for at least 30 minutes, and could not see anything abnormal at this stage.  I still have to get a fetal echo at my next appointment, but he was optimistic.  Her stomach was still where it should be, and no other organs had protruded into the O sac.  He reminded me that it is still very possible that organs can move into the sac (besides the intestines and liver).  She loves to wave at us and was completely stretched out.  She tried to hide a few times so Dr. P called her "secretive."  I thought that was funny = she is such a girl!

The umbilical cord is not inserted in the placenta correctly (should be on top of it but its in the side) but he was not worried about it.  Dr. P is so level-headed.  As optimistic as he could get, he also reminds us that she could still not make it for numerous reasons.  Even though she appears to be 'fine' now, there are so many things that could develop as she gets bigger.  Scoliosis, heart defects, more organs protruding, diaphragm issues, O sac rupturing, obviously amnio could show chromosomal abnormalities, stillborn, SIDS, and the list goes on.

But for the FIRST time ---- I.WAS.EXCITED. to see her!!! I know Dr. P tries to bring me back to a realistic level but I couldn't help myself.  For the first time in 18 weeks, I thought to myself.. "she's going to be ok."

Dr. P kept my mind on other things and kept me laughing the whole time.  Um, while he's pulling out needles the length of my arm.  The lidocaine shot to numb my stomach hurt the worst.  Like a really big bee sting.  Reminded me of my spinal block for my C-sections.  Then he went with the actual amnio needle.  Didn't hurt until he had to go through my uterus.  Yep... that was bound to leave a mark.  I didn't DARE look down at my stomach, but I could see the needle on the ultrasound screen.  Very weird.  It was in a pocket of fluid down by her feet.  He pulled 3 vials of fluid out (approximately 15 ml's) and it looked like urine! Not sure what I expected amniotic fluid to look like, but I was surprised at yellow water.  My water has never broken with my previous pregnancies - so maybe its the same as that?  The amnio went well.  He rechecked baby's heartbeat and said she didn't even know we were there! lol.  Um, is this a clone of Mati Claire?  She reminds me SO much of MC already.  I got down from table and went to the bathroom to get dressed.  The nurse had told me all the things to expect after a procedure like this.  As I was getting dressed, I thought to myself "man, i must be one of the lucky ones - i feel fine."  THEN I took about 5 steps out of the bathroom.  And they.are.not.lying.  Contractions and cramping! Whoa! Okay, so maybe I'm not one of the lucky ones.  lol ;)  The contractions have stopped but I am extremely sore.  Feel like I've run about 5 miles and I have a cramp in my side.  Feel like a truck hit me.  Feel like I got a giant flu shot in my stomach.  lol  But the best part is I am not going to spend the next 10 days crying over it.  Baby girl has given me hope.  And I left the office with a smile on my face!!!

The countdown is on.  Results come back in 9-10 days.  We are looking for all chromosomal abnormalities but primarily trisomy 13, 18, 21 (Down's), and a few others.  I would greatly appreciate the continuing of prayers.  Matt was holding my hand during the procedure and God had the other.  And I think baby girl would have given me her hand too if she could have (see pic below).  ;)

T minus 1 day...

First picture was almost a month ago:  waving to us.  I just want to reach out and touch it!  
Second picture is her sweet profile yesterday. ~19 wks
Third picture is her omphalocele.  ~19 wks.
Isn't she beautiful? :)

God is GOOD!  Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes.

What's in a Name?

NO! I have NOT decided on a name yet.  One week, I'm leaning towards one name... the next week I will tell you something completely different. And I'll also tell you each week that yes, that is definitely the name! ha! We have a short list... all M names of course.   And.... I like them ALL!

I made the mistake of asking people which name they liked better - my advice: NEVER do that.  EVERYONE has an opinion, usually bad.  So I will announce it when we've decided.  And boy are people mean about it. What did I learn this week? If ANYONE ever asks me if they like a name, I will tell them YES I love it - whether I do or not! It is their decision.  And that's why we get to name our own kids! And I would never want to hinder someone else's thought process.   Or if you don't like it, you don't have to give a reason why - just say you don't like it. period.

If you had asked me any day in the last 5 years after MC was born what I would have named my next daughter, I would have told you the same name without hesitation.  But now, this baby is showing me God's plan and not my plan.  I can have a plan (aka name) for the past 5 years, and all of a sudden it just doesn't seem to fit the current plan.  So I am open for suggestions, but I assure you I have looked at every name in the book.  Literally.

I will tell you the middle name is Chandley = C (my first initial) + Handley (my maiden name).  A friend in the 11th grade at MSMS once told me I should name my kid that one day.  It was my email login name.    We saw each other's email names so much we made it a habit of calling each other by that name.  Hers was "khill" = kill.  ;)  another was "chopper" ... you get the idea.   Somehow the name stuck.  lol

Oh, I'm also working on upgrading the blog.  Will make it easier to navigate baby's story from everything else.  Very excited about it.

Ponderings...

We saw this video at our church's revival last night.  It.is.awesome.  Francis Chan says EXACTLY what I was trying to say in my last post - only better.

I love when Life Action comes to our church.  God uses them to show us how to apply ourselves in daily activities the way He would want us to.  God speaks to me every time I listen to Mr. Canfield.  This week I am obviously more open to hearing from God.  I am "all ear" as he stated.  Last night he discussed sacrificial love.  "If you place your happiness in the hands of another human being, you are guaranteeing disappointment.   The best thing you can do for your life is to fill your soul with God.  Define disappointment as a call to worship."     The night before, we discussed idols.  For most people he was probably speaking of spouses, co-workers, friends, etc.   For me, God was telling me it was my kids.  Yep - you heard that right - my own kids.  I am one of those mothers who lives and breathes my kids.  I don't think I let it take control of my marriage or any extreme... but yes, I spend more time thinking about them than I do God.  Even when they aren't with me, I'm thinking about something child related... when I could be praying or reading the Bible or working on study homework.

I read the story of Abraham and Isaac to Mati Claire a few weeks ago.  I've heard that story a million times.  And it never really hit me until I read it to my own child for the 100th time.  The children's book that we read has some pictures, and I don't believe they are 100% accurate but it gets the story across to a 4 year old.  Mati Claire saw one of our neighbors burning trash and tree limbs a few weeks ago, and she asked me if he was about to perform a "sac-a-fice" in his front yard.  He was obviously building that fire to put an animal on it.  ;)  There's your MC'ism for the day.  Anyway, back to the other part of the story.  I couldn't figure out WHY God would ask Abraham to sacrifice his own son.  Isaac was the child that he and Sarah had dreamed of, prayed for, and most likely parent-like worshipped (besides God himself).  Isaac was the promised one and I can imagine or even relate to what they felt for Isaac.  Now I know God was testing Abraham to see if he would even do it... but I still couldn't figure out why Isaac?  I think its because it was the one thing on earth that Abraham couldn't stand to lose.  Things are replaceable...but you can't replace a child.  And I think part of what I heard from God last night... is that He's willing to test my willingness with this baby.  I am so afraid of the limits God is pushing me towards.  I'm afraid of the what-ifs.  I'm afraid of the unknown.  I'm afraid for my other two children and how they will be affected by all this (if at all).  Am I willing to still keep God first before any of my children?  And look at what Francis Chan went through by the age of 16! My goodness.   I was/am placing all of my happiness in this one person (or 3).  Its hard for me to see anything past my next doctor's appointment.  And that's where faith comes in.  You can't see it... but we have it.

I had never really paid attention to the lyrics (although I knew most of them) to Third Day's song "Show Me Your Glory."  The second verse says

When I climb down the mountain
and get back to my life
I won't settle for ordinary things
I'm gonna follow You forever
And for all of my days
I won't rest 'til I see You again

 The first 2 lines are what stunned me.  GETTING BACK TO MY LIFE.   There is so much to say there that it would take a whole new blog post.   But my point is that I will get to the "other side of the mountain" one day... and perhaps things will be "back to normal" or a new normal... but I'm hoping it will be different in that God has made us stronger and more willing to cross those boundaries.  And not be so afraid.  And who knows what else God will teach me by that point.  I pray God will  give me a better score when I get off my balance beam routine, because right now I am clinging on like Chan demonstrates in the video.

Ok ok ok.  I will get off my drama and show you a pic of those that are putting a smile on my face lately.

 Mattox lost his bowl cut today too... Matt wanted him to have the "big boy haircut".  He's growing up too fast! Someone postpone his birthday because my baby boy is NOT about to turn 2!