Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The "End"

The day I walked in from the hospital, my hormones definitely got the best of me.  Its even harder when you KNOW its hormones and there's not a dang thing you can do about it to stop the flood of tears.  There are definitely moments when I wonder 'what the heck were we thinking having 4 kids?' and I tend to lose my mind when all 4 of them are talking to me at the same time.  Not to mention my 5th kid (hubby) asking me whats for dinner while the other 4 are seeking my attention.  Bless him, he had no idea that asking what the kids wanted for dinner would put me over the edge.

Luckily the hormones have been in check since that day.

Then Mati Claire says "mom… Mason FINISHES us."  I questioned what she meant (not understanding).  Then she said "He finishes our family."  oohhh!  I said "As in, he completes us?"  Leave it to Mati Claire to say the darndest things at the most opportune time.

No flooding of tears thank goodness, but definitely some sadness.  I think there are some extra physical pains from getting my tubes tied because I hurt in places I've never hurt before (2 wks later still).  That pain keeps reminding me of what was done… so it needs to go soon.  I don't need constant reminders that "we're done."  I love the babies!  Not regretting it, but just sad knowing that chapter of my life is done.  On the bright side, I'm already planning vacations in my mind and things we'll do when Mason is old enough!

Already I'm looking forward to getting back in my regular clothes and having energy again (which I know is a long way off)… but looking forward to it.

Looking back, as much as I HATE seeing pictures of myself, I do cherish the time I got to hold him closer than anyone:

talking to him

The most comfortable maternity dress ever.

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Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Ready or Not Here I Come!

I don't know how I have time to blog, but if I don't do it now it will never happen.
On the eve of the day I was SUPPOSE to have Mason, I will tell you about what happened LAST week!

I had my regular weekly OB appointment last Wednesday, March 18th.  I've been having weekly BPP's (biophysical profiles) where they do a ultrasound to measure 8 markers - the main ones they look for are practice breathing, amniotic fluid levels, and baby heart rate.  I had BPPs done every 2-3 days with Merritt but only weekly after 32 (?) weeks with Mason because of my age!

Because my regular doctor had been out of town 2 weeks ago, I had to see a different doctor the week before and she failed to schedule my BPP for this past week.  I ALMOST didn't get it done.  Which is scary.  But luckily, Dr. T's nurse Jana and I both agreed that I would wait to get worked in with the sonographer.

I hadn't been feeling well but chalked it up to the last 2 weeks of pregnancy.  I had begun to swell just a little bit but also had been up doing housework and running errands.  The swelling was nothing out of the ordinary.  I had a dull headache that would NOT go away (even with Tylenol).  But my blood pressure was fine when I got to my appointment.  Was having constant Braxton-Hicks contractions, but nothing out of the usual again.  Not dilated as usual.  So nothing to worry about, right?

Wrong.  I could tell by the look on the sonographer's face that something was wrong.  The sonogram went from black/white to blues and reds and yellows.  I noticed the measurement of amnionic fluid in a few pockets read "0.00".  She measured everything THREE times.  3 of the 4 fluid pockets were 0.00 and the fourth pocket was extremely low.   I still wasn't worried but also wasn't registering the severity of the problem.  I figured Dr. T would just tell me drink more water or possibly give me IV fluids and send me home.

Wrong again.  I go back to the exam room to wait on Dr. T.  I will never forget this moment in my life.  She walks in and says "So your fluid levels are not good.  What do you think about having baby tomorrow? Wait… "  Then she leaves and checks with the OR department and comes back  "What about TODAY?"

You couldn't have picked my jaw up off the floor.  I thought she was joking.  I still had a week and even that was still a week earlier than my due date.  So we're talking 2 weeks early.

We discussed my delivery with Mati Claire.  I immediately started having flashbacks of that experience and its not one I wanted to relive ever again.  The fluid also "disappeared" with her and it was very traumatic once the contractions started and her heart rate kept "disappearing" (decelerating).  I ended up under general anesthesia with her and I don't recommend that if you can help it!  Dr. T agreed that Mason needed to come out ASAP.

She could tell I was in shock, and left me to call Matt.  I had to wake Matt up after he had worked a night shift to tell him to "get up because we are having a baby today!"  By this point it was around 10:00am I think and they wanted me back at the hospital at 3:00 for a C-section at 5:00pm.  By this point I was shaking and beyond nervous as it was "getting real".  It was really happening TODAY.  Matt wasn't thrilled at the idea because he was scheduled to work that night and most of the week/weekend knowing he was taking off NEXT week for baby.

My mom wasn't suppose to come in town to stay with me until later that weekend.  I had planned to use the entire week to get my house ready for baby and company.  Grocery shop.  Finish washing and cleaning baby gear (bouncy seats, swings, etc).  Matt wasn't off work.  Family wasn't here or ready.  I didn't have his hospital door sign yet.  The other kids didn't have their "big bro/big sis" shirts yet.  I didn't have any hospital bags packed.  The infant car seat wasn't in the car yet.   We weren't ready!

That's when you hear God reminding us that we can make all the plans in the world, but it doesn't matter!  Its HIS plan.  All that truly mattered was getting Mason out sooner than later.

Soooo….I had 4 hours to go home and get with that plan.  If you've ever seen a mad crazy nervous scared pregnant lady - that was me!  I cleaned house, took a shower, packed, Matt started doing laundry  and took the dog to the vet and even got his haircut (Matt not the dog)! :)  We coordinated schedules for help (splitting all the kids up among friends to be picked up from school).  Pretty much stayed on the phone calling family and friends.  Realized later, we forgot our camera - so cell phones were our only option for pics! lol!

And even though its not how you imagined it, its amazing how it all works out.  Thank you, God.  Mason arrived healthy and through my easiest section of all.  Matt got his work schedule straightened out, my mom walked in the hospital door within 5 minutes of him being born after making a normal 7 1/2 drive in 6 hours, friends took care of the other kids so family could all be at the hospital, my sister in law made the drive from Alabama in time... I had packed the hospital necessities but life goes on even if you don't have a pretty door painting with his name on it.  ;)  We even got to go home a day early because my surgery recovery was going so well!  Because of that, the kids only got to see him through the window before we were home for good!  (By that time, they had their shirts in hand too!)

So!  Here we are a week later already!  We are still adjusting and trying to find a new normal.  Completely sleep deprived.  But thrilled and happy that we didn't have a traumatic delivery experience again.  And the other "things" we can live without (door signs, cameras, etc).

On to the most important stuff:
Mason Paul Miley arrived via C-section at 5:42pm on Wednesday, March 18, 2015!  He weighed (to our surprise as we were expecting bigger) 6 pounds 14 oz.  And was 20 1/2 inches long.

Definitely his own person!  A good combination of everyone!  Overall he looks alot like Mattox.  But his hair is different.  I think his hair looks more like Mati Claire's, his eyes appear to remind us of Merritt's, and definitely has his Daddy's ears.  But nose, mouth, cheeks, and most of his face looks like Mattox to me. He's quiet.  Doesn't cry that much.  Even the doctors had to force him to cry when they pulled him out.  Seems to be very sweet and loves for me to rub his face/tickle him!  He's a pretty baby (but I'm biased)!

Because of Merritt's VSD/heart history, they wanted him to get an echo done.  His heart is healthy as can be!  I noticed he shook alot.  He had a very pronounced/exaggerated startle reflex.  I was worried about it, so they ruled out seizures and blood glucose issues.  Their official ruling was an "immature sympathetic system"  that he would quickly grow out of.  Which he has I think.  He was just extremely "jumpy" for a few days. Breastfeeding is going well overall.  He's lazy, but what baby isn't.  He's no Mattox (aka the piranha).  But he's learning quickly how it works!   I had to laugh when cleaning his circumcision and belly button -- I couldn't remember why I couldn't remember doing that --- and thats because Merritt didn't have a bellybutton!! So its been 5 years since I've had to clean those parts!  lol!

I mentioned above that tomorrow was the day we were SUPPOSE to have him, but clearly we were SUPPOSE to have him on March 18th!  ha!  My family is excited because that is also his Uncle Rob's birthday (who turned 45 by the way!)  and his second cousin, Lori's birthday.

Big sisters and brother are doing well with the addition.  It took Mitt awhile to warm up to him that day.  But everyone is obsessed with holding him and watching him eat from mommy's boobies.  Sorry folks, my kids know WAY too much about breastfeeding and C-sections.  Mati Claire seems to be having the biggest attention problem.  Gigi has been keeping Mitt occupied potty training that she hasn't had time to notice (because she is getting plenty of attention from Gigi!).  Mattox was the most worried about me.  He didn't like the idea of me being cut open and hurting.  Sweet.heart.

the day before (I cropped my face out bc I had NO makeup on and looked every bit pregnant).  MC called me the "big green giant" on St. Patrick's Day.  

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Sunday, March 1, 2015

Superheroes to the Rescue!

Mattox has me wrapped around his finger… and he knows it.  He totally guilt tripped me into a party this year.  "But I didn't have one last year, and you said I probably wouldn't have one next year since Mason would be turning 1…pweeeease…and I want YOU to make my cake!"

The only reason I was ok with doing a Superhero theme was because I KNOW that Mason will want one too and I can reuse all the stuff I bought!  It wasn't as perfect as I would have liked, but I am learning to "let it go".  I never finished the food table's backdrop, but being pregnant I couldn't stand on top of the table to reach everything (Matt was asleep), the cake isn't at all what I had imagined but turned out ok for my first cake I guess… I am a perfectionist usually and the older I get the more I learn that "its ok!"  to let it go.  Mattox had fun, and thats all that matters!  

His birthday always seems to fall during Spring Break when all his friends go out of town.  Add that on top of pushing 40 weeks at that time, I decided to back it up a bit.  He still doesn't understand why a party is on a different day than his actual birthday (by a week).    Considering all the crazy weather we've had in MS during February, we couldn't have asked for better weather when the party started!

I have to give a HUGE THANK YOU to some people who helped me this week and during the party! I can't lean over very well/at all and I think it would have taken me a week to clean up afterwards if they hadn't helped.  Mitt never gets off my foot so I managed to get stuff done with you keeping Mitt entertained:    Nana, Ray, Chachel, and Miss Amy --- thank you so much!!!!!! Yall are awesome and Mason thanks you too!  Mitt prefers yall over me anyway!  Talking about Superheroes to the rescue!

My advice to any parent planning a 5 year old boy's party:  cardboard boxes.  lots of them.   and silly string.  lots of it.  

Just realized I never got a picture of the table withOUT Mitt standing in front of it.  She wanted that cake!  
I didn't make the Hulk fist, but I did make the rest of it.  My first cake, and you can tell I got tired of making layers (each layer was supposed to be double that height) b/c the Superman logo didn't fit.  But at 2am I was too tired to care anymore!  

"X-ray Vision" = carrots and ranch, "Thor's Hammer" = pretzel and cheese cubes, "Crunch" = chips, "Dynomite" = red licorice

That's ALOT of silly string.  The "Spiderman shooters" were a hit at the party.  They shot "the bad guy"
"Hulk Smash" brick wall.  Another big "hit"  

"Spiderman Maze"  Kids tried to build a maze with yarn and then walk/crawl through it.
Photo backdrop!

Party favor boxes included:  Hulk whoopee cushion, Spiderman coloring book/crayons, Batman cookie from Meme's Bakery, Batman throwing disc, and Spiderman bubbles and a sucker!  
  I am really glad I didn't wait til later to have his party, because I've been on the couch ever since with Braxton-Hicks contractions coming ALOT.  Grrr… not feeling well today so I'm glad we got his party out of the way before brother comes.  5 is a BIG deal because it means he is going to "big school" soon and his present from us was our trip to Disney World!  I'd say that is huge!

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