Sad Summer

Most of you that know us, have probably heard we are moving down the road soon.  Same city.  Different house.  

Question of the year:  WHY are you moving???

3 days before our trip to Ireland while sitting in a church pew at Merritt's preschool graduation program, Matt shows me a picture of a house for sale.  We had never discussed even the possibility of moving.  If anything, it was the opposite.  He would repeatedly tell me he planned to NEVER move again.  2 months ago, I would have told you we were planning to die in our house.  Just goes to show me again - you can plan all you want... but life has a way of not following.  I REALLY thought it was a novel notion...one that would fall through and the idea would pass when it didn't work out.  I REALLY thought it wouldn't "pan out" so to speak.   Surely the realtors and inspectors would find SOMETHING wrong, right?  ......  we toured it twice before leaving for our vacation.  

After much discussion, arguing, and silent treatments while on vaca out of the country... we bought a house!  I was really mad because Matt was focused on the house and not on our vacation.   We were eating breakfast one morning in a CASTLE and he's on his phone looking at contracts.  I immediately began to resent the "new" house for distracting us.  crazy, huh?

I blamed Matt for uprooting the only home our kids have ever known.  I resented the fact that he obviously wasn't 100% happy in what I thought was an amazing house!  It IS an amazing house.  We built it. We made it.  We added to it.  It fit our needs as we grew.  Until it didn't anymore with kid #4.    But we still didn't NEED a new house.  Plenty of siblings share a room and I was beginning to think I was spoiling my kids by letting them each have their own room.  

Our house COULD be perfect for a family with 4 kids... but it doesn't leave much room when alot of extended family comes to visit on a pretty regular basis.  Our house sort of maxes out at 2-3 kids with a room or two to spare for company.  Plus Matt needs a dark quiet room to sleep in during the day.  Our large-er family has somewhat specific needs for crazy schedules with family that lives out of town.  The new house fits the bill as far as layout, size, location, etc.  Its definitely more family-functional for a bigger family with an even bigger extended family.

The new house is great - don't get me wrong.  But it wasn't OURS.  Certainly wasn't MINE.  Sure, it had more space, more bedrooms, and a much better backyard for kids.  But again, I was happy where I was.  Content.  I still had reservations. I didn't just like our house, I LOVE it!  I am emotionally attached to our house because its where ALL of the memories with ALL of my kids are.  Their first birthday parties, their first steps, our annual Halloween party, and even the bad memories are still part of it!  I felt like I was gaining and losing with the move.  It all depended on the priorities and who you are talking to.  

After weeks of being upset over leaving the house I love, it finally hit me that I am too blessed to be upset over these houses.  I am blessed to have a husband who allows me to stay home with the kids.  Who am I to argue with where he wants to live if he makes all the money, right?  If he was willing to put in the work that it needed to make it ours, and he was.... and the actual moving process... then I decided to quit arguing with him, and see that he thought our current house was getting tight as the kids are getting bigger.  

Then our dog, Koda, took a turn for the worse.  She was 13 and we knew her time was coming soon. However, we were unprepared for the quickness.  She was in alot of pain and we couldn't put her through another dreadful Mississippi summer heat and moving houses next month.  God wrote His name across that situation.  I began to see Koda's passing as a sign that one chapter was ending, and a new one beginning.  Sad nonetheless.

Its ok to change.  Moving is part of growing up.  I have driven by the house I grew up in and I don't even recognize it now.  Yes, its the house that built me.  But I take the rocking chairs with me.  The kids go with me.  ha. The kids still worship the ground the others' walk on.  What makes it a home is US.  We can still dance in the kitchen.  

The things I didn't like about the "new" house were all cosmetic.  Of course, Matt doesn't care for my expensive taste but my conditions on moving were to completely renovate it.  I saw it as a fixer upper and he didn't.  So that's exactly what we are doing.  Fixing it up!  Matt gets to move and I get to decorate it! lol!  

Renovations should take a month or two but our house will be up for sale in the very near future.  We moved in Sept. 11, 2007 --  its almost 10 years TO THE DAY! 

No pun intended... but moving on! 

Mati Claire is not handling it well.  She turned 10.  Lost her only family pet.  Starting shaving her legs.  Asking ALL sorts of adult questions/conversations that I am not ready to answer.  But again, life keeps moving forward on me and I can't stop it.  I am saddened by the fact that she is "coming of age" VERY soon.

Merritt turned 5 and got a major haircut.  She is very excited about starting Kindergarten.  Other than the insane amount of constant talking and the number of times she changes her clothes per day... her behavior has made much improvement.  I think she is finally out of the terrible 3's... that yes, lasted into her almost 5's.

Mason has started talking in full sentences. He's 2 going on 6 I think.  HAS to keep up with the older siblings!  God knew what I needed when He gave me that boy.  He is all smiles and just a joy to be around ALL of the time.  Even teething, he is smiling or sleeping.  He is showing signs of wanting to potty train.  Heaven help me, the baby isn't a "baby" anymore.  His curls and his smile will slay anybody that walks past him.  He even dances to rap music!

Mattox has hit a growth spurt and is going to eat the entire grocery store.  He got a retainer to start his orthodontic work and grew an inch in height since his birthday 4 months ago.  He is ALMOST passing Mati Claire in size... I can't wait to see how tall he will get.  He got the stomach bug a few days after we got back from vacation.  He is struggling with a pretty bad social anxiety phase.  At least I hope its just a phase.  He's had some "extremely rare" (quoted by the dermatologist) viruses lately that have manifested on the skin.  Luckily they will all go away soon but its taken a toll on him.  He's had a pretty miserable summer.  Lately when I look at him, I see a pre-teen/teenager.  I don't see a 7 year old anymore.  He went from being 6 years old, to a big teeth, big man-hair, retainer-wearing, tall/major growth spurt, iPad/video game playing, reading as well as my 10 year old, little MAN.  He's not such a little boy anymore.  :( 

As busy as our summer has been... and contemplating/planning the school year already... it has occurred to me that I rarely see my kids as they get older.  I stay at home, and limit their extra-curricular activities.. and I still don't see them but for a few hours each day.   My kids are their own best friends.  They LOVE each other and for the most part play really well together.  When one is gone, the rest don't know how to act.  Its funny in a way, but it really shows me on a daily basis how important family is.  But I've learned having 4, that when one gets sick, it dictates the others' schedules.  One kid affects the other 3 in so many ways!  When one gets the stomach bug (which is often), do I send the others to school knowing they've been exposed even though they aren't showing symptoms... yet.  ?  They can't afford to miss unnecessary days of school.. due to their sibling's illness.  I can keep them quarantined for a time...but I still have to take the others to school and I can't leave a sick one at home by themselves.  And I won't take the stomach bug in the car if its really bad... so we ALL end up staying home.  Its a cycle or snowball effect type thing.

Life has gotten SO busy (and I only see it getting worse as they get older)....  will I have wished I kept them home more?? I feel like I'm not spending enough quality time with them.  I am usually yelling at them in the car all day because we go from one "thing" to the next.  I've been contemplating homeschooling lately.  I don't feel like I've been called to do that just yet.  Teaching is NOT my spiritual gift and I have ZERO patience.  

And we don't do as many "things" as most people we know.  My mind is blown at the people who sit at the ballfields ALL day or ALL weekend.  We LOVE our family dinners almost every night.  We LOVE having a weekend to do nothing after such a busy week!  We LOVE to go to the lake and teach them how to fish or ski or how to drive a boat!

With all that said, we are ending a chapter in Bellewood... and starting a new chapter in "SOSO" in a new home.  Starting a new school year with 2 of them in new schools.

"Be still and know that I am God..." -Psalm 46:10

Turned 10 and 5 this year!

Miley family pic in front of new house. 

Get Thee Behind Me!

A not so funny story.   But you might fight it amusing, because its times like this I have to laugh to keep from crying.  Ok, I did cry once.  It started out as laughter but progressed into sitting in the kitchen floor doing the ugly cry with a bottle of wine and Chlorox wipes in my lap.

About 3 weeks ago, Merritt woke up with red eyes and nasal congestion.  Could be allergies.  Could be pink eye.  Who knows, right?  Mason had been on an antibiotic for an ear infection from teething the week before, and we had some extra antibiotics in the fridge thanks to a lovely pharmacy family and a hubby who can't read the bottles.  But it worked out to our advantage, Merritt started the antibiotic and was completely clear about 24 hours later.  (kept her on that med for 7 days though).

Back up almost 2 years ago.  Mati Claire had what appeared to be an ant bite on her knee that got infected, red streaks running up and down her leg... we thought maybe spider bite instead, eventually turned into a black scab... was there for several months before falling off and leaving a pitted scar on her leg.    Several months later, again.  A new spot about an inch away from the first spot but followed the same format.  About 6 months later (this would be about a year and half later from the first spot) a THIRD spot very similar appeared.  Took her to the dermatologist and because it had already scabbed over they couldn't do a biopsy.  Couldn't tell me what it was (that was the day of the Smoothie King incident and where my kids went insane-link below).  Well, we decided we would go back IF she ever got another one because these are spread out months in between.

So back to present day on a Thursday (months later).  Mattox has a spot on his inner thigh that followed the same process:  looks like a white zit or ant bite type bump, wart maybe?, gets infected, his pants rub it and open it up, it drains, pretty gross to deal with, we put antibiotic ointments on it, black scab, and a scar.  A few days later, he has about 20 of these spots up and down his thighs.  I immediately recognize them as the same type bumps that Mati Claire had.  We take him to the dermatologist and he tells us its Mulloscum Contagiosa = contagious rash virus.  The derm "paints" the spots with a special medicine (that as a pharmacist, I have never heard of and never dispensed in my life).  We leave it on for 4 hours and rinse off in the bath.  Ok.  Got it.

Welllll, Mattox was apparently mortified to tell the dermatologist that he also had a few bumps around his private parts.  So the dermatologist failed to paint those with the medicine (no fault of his own).  One bump in particular again follows the nasty course of events of getting quite large, pus-filled, painful, and the redness/swelling starts spreading.  He can't walk.  His teacher calls me from school concerned because he can't sit in his desk at school the "correct way".  He was miserable.  Considering this is near his genitalia, Daddy puts him on some antibiotics for the abcess.  A few days later, a hot bath drains it out and it might be one of the grossest experiences of my life.  He learned the hard way to never be too embarrassed to tell your doctor anything!

I also learned that this virus stays in your system for exactly 2 years (will be permanently gone after that) and any new bump that appears in that time should be treated by the dermatologist immediately. Not your local pharmacy, not even your pediatrician.  ONLY the dermatologist has access to this "medicine" that they would not give to me.  So I have to get an appointment with a dermatologist every time he gets a new bump like this for the next 2 years?  Yep.       yippee.      They apparently did not ban my family from future visits to their office after our first visit with the smoothies.

See POST LINK HERE for that post.  I also learned that he should not take baths or share towels with anyone/siblings for these 2 years.    Did the virus know that they just destroyed my nighttime-bedtime routine?  I do better at separating the boys from the girls now that they are getting older, but yes, they do share baths and towels OFTEN!  Grrr.....

Ok, so Mattox is on antibiotics.  Merritt is on antibiotics.  Mason just finished antibiotics.  We're good, right?

Mattox wakes up a few days later with "the pink eye".  Although I wouldn't consider it pink eye -- just full blown dual conjunctivitis.  Nasal symptoms as well.  He looks like an alien with not pink but RED eyes.  Spots all over his legs.  Then he gets his first real bloody nose.  He looked like he was hit by a truck.  Or beat up.  Poor guy.

Ok its a long holiday weekend.  We have time to Recover.  Regroup.  Right?

Saturday, Mason throws up all over Mati Claire and is running fever.  So I assumed the stomach bug that has been circulating the community found its way to my house.  We are pros at that!  He was completely fine and symptom free for 2 days following that episode.
Tuesday morning I walk in the gym and I get a phone call from the director at Mother's Day Out.  "Mrs. Miley?  You need to come pick up your youngest son.  He has Hand-Foot-Mouth Disease."

ummm.. WHAT???  How did my other 3 kids ever survive without catching this?  This is a new one for us.  The praying commenced that no one else caught it despite their ages.  I can't really quarantine an 18 month old for a solid week or more.

Mati Claire gets a stye.  We thought it might be the beginning of "the pink eye"  (and I'm using quotations on that because that's what my kids call it).  Nope, just a stye so she's walking around with a hot washcloth/warm compress on it for days on end.

Merritt starts showing signs of "the pink eye" again and complaining of a severe ear ache. She.can.NOT. hear.anything.  We tested her for days to see if it was selective hearing or if she really could not hear.  But considering she finished a round of antibiotics, I was not too concerned.  It must be viral, so I let the conjunctivitis run its course.  I'm sort of in military-mom-mode at this point.

3 out of 4 are miserable.  complaining.  missing school.  but ok, I've got this.  I just make my rounds from kid to kid:  medicine, comfort, love and hugs, lots of rest and naps, video games/ipads are worth every penny, Chlorox wipe everything they touch, wipe again, and then wipe again.   wash, rinse, and repeat.

then my healthy one bites the dust.  I pick Mati Claire up from school and we barely make it home before she starts vomiting.   great....I don't know if she has the stomach bug or the beginning signs of Hand-Foot-Mouth Virus too (Mason was apparently classic text-book case with this).

ALL   FOUR   KIDS    SICK   AT    THE    SAME     TIME.     And its my birthday.   Its not only pouring down rain outside... its pouring inside as well!

Cancel the sitter. Cancel the date night birthday dinner we had planned. Heck, cancel the whole month of January!  Even had to cancel the cleaners.  Lord knows I've cleaned every inch of the house by now.

I've never had all 4 sick at the SAME time.  Each with their own thing.  I call my pediatrician because I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown.  They don't need to see ANY of them because its ALL viral. Obviously ALL the antibiotics they've been on haven't helped.

Insert my crying session in the floor here.  What else can I Chlorox?  The liquor store knows my name now.  ;)

Merritt who had been on the mend... I now find myself taking her in to see the pediatrician Monday morning because she is crying over her ears.  And she literally can't hear me unless I scream at her.  I asked if she wanted candy for breakfast -- and she replied with an answer that didn't make any sense. I'm confused as to what is going on with her.  She does have fluid in her ear, but not ear infection.  She might have to go see an ENT but we're on another round of different antibiotics, Sudafed, Benadryl, Flonase, her regular Prevacid, and Advil or Tylenol for the pain.

Here I am almost 3 weeks later.  All managed to make it back to school this week until yesterday.  Mattox has "the pink eye" AGAIN.  Very strange that both he and Merritt had the exact same symptoms TWICE both cases separated by a week or so.  Between the two of them, they have had it FOUR times!

When do the sicknesses stop??????????  They went an entire semester without getting sick.  They get vitamins.  They even get probiotics every single day.

Like I said before, Chlorox and wine are my best friends this month.  and the Kroger Clicklist.

Why yes, I did make my appointment for a spa day next week!

My Cup Runneth Over!

I just realized I haven't posted since April 1.  wow.  I HATE the end of school years.  May is a m-a-r-a-t-h-o-n!  I don't remember school being that busy when I was a kid... but then again, I wasn't a parent then.  Is it me?  or have the schools added so much more "stuff"???  I was REALLY glad I only allow ONE after school extra-curricular activity for each kid.  Between ballet recitals, baseball games, I could not imagine adding anything else on top of school programs and parties.

Mati Claire is my bookworm.  She received 3rd place in the entire school for AR points with a total of 369 points!  She was first overall in her class.  She decided this was her last ballet recital.  :(

i.will.not.cry.again.over.that.fact.  

Merritt has finally decided to show some interest in learning to write her name (and letters in general).  She also FINALLY decided to participate in her end of the year program at preschool.  She also did GREAT on stage for the first time at her first ballet recital!  What???  Is that a light I see at the end of this tunnel we call "terrible 3's"  --> age 4 is ALMOST here and I couldn't be happier about that!

We left on the last day of school for our only vacation this year:  Universal Studios in Orlando and then a week at the beach in Sandestin, FL.  We took my 2 oldest nieces with us and had a great time!
It wasn't entirely busy, but I always feel I need a vacation from my vacation.  Just glad to be home and I may spend the entire summer just catching up on laundry now.

Biggest news from our vacation is that Mason decided to START WALKING!!!  Noooooo.. :(  Matt turned 39 and we celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary!!  Big week!

 What else have I been doing (since I'm always talking about my kids)?
EATING and EXERCISING.  Have to acknowledge Advocare and TeamFitMom here.   This plan is i.n.s.a.n.e.  But, drastic change called for drastic measures.  I was desperate to start losing weight and knowing that I will NEVER have any more kids -- I was ready!  I also have such bad psoriatic arthritis, that I can't walk more than 0.5 mi.  I am 38 and couldn't imagine taking a family vacation without hurting all over.  My elbows began to lock up in the shower while I washed my hair.  I wanted to lose weight, but can't exercise because my knees hurt so bad...and as a mom of 4-- who has time to swim?   I considered myself 30 lbs overweight.  I was pushing a size 14 that i have NEVER worn in my life (size 12 is my "fat size" and a size 8 I get told I look anorexic even though I feel great, so I'm happy to be in a size 10 usually).  So size 10's are my goal.  I don't usually make a weight goal bc I hover around 145.  138 is my all-time best.  Being 5'10" ain't easy.  So I quit comparing myself to others.  Women doing these plans would drop 10 lbs in a week or two.  I actually GAINED 5 lbs during my first month of this plan.  What??  Totally discouraged, but thanks to my coach, Kristen...I kept pushing on!  I started seeing a rheumatologist also for my psoriatic arthritis and started a new medication that we are still testing out.  We've increased the dose once but still waiting to see how it works out overall.

I can't give the TeamFitMom plan away obviously, but I eat EXTREMELY clean, carb rotate, and try to workout like a beast!  I've definitely had to re-prioritize things...putting myself before a few other things.  Do I feel guilty?  Sometimes.  But there is a saying "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."  I wasn't happy and my self-confidence was fading.  Now I have energy to keep up with the 4 kiddos... I take them jogging with me.  They see me eating healthier and the effects on the body.  "Mommy, you don't look like you have a baby in your belly anymore!"  That's always a good confidence booster.  The biggest adjustment is eating 6 small meals a day.  There is a whole new level of preparing and planning it takes to do that.  I spend most of my day eating, working out, and taking my Advocare supplements!

Do I enjoy eating clean?  Heck no.  But do I feel better?  Heck yes!  I would love to run to the nearest fast-food place and inhale a giant cheeseburger.  But I remind myself that I had ZERO energy and found myself napping on the couch literally ALL day sometimes.

After 8 weeks on the plan, I've lost a total of 9" all over and a total of 13 lbs.  After my 8 weeks, I took a week off the menu for vacation and about 3 weeks off exercising because I have had a sick kid almost every day for the past 3 months!  I can't go to the gym when I have a sick kid so that has pushed me to do more at-home workouts.  Luckily, they came out with a new "at home" plan now! yay!

so here are a few pics of before and afters at just 6 weeks.  This was probably 6 weeks ago, and I think I look better than this now, but haven't updated my pics yet.  Anyway, I WILL be 40 and Fit!  Its hard, but so worth it!

March Madness

March has been crazy busy!  I guess that's every month for me now though.  :\

Tried to relax during our Spring Break.  Mattox's birthday.  He's 6 now if I didn't post about that.   He had a very low-key birthday this year and didn't mind his lack of a big party as long as he still got some cool birthday gifts.  Nerf guns!

My Mason man turned 1.  I blinked and he's 1.  Why is it the harder you try to remember every little detail about everything during those first sweet months, that when you look back - it seems like a blur?  He pretty much sums up the definition of being the baby.  Looks up to the older ones, tries to do what they do.  He never lacks for entertainment!  He is ALL boy...and getting a little aggressive... he likes to hit and scratch at you.  Getting rough already!  I stopped breastfeeding about a week ago.  I cried and sulked for 2 days.  But its time to move on.  He was NOT happy about it, but finally taking the sippy cup.  He also quit baby food and only wants what we have for meals (another Merritt??)  If my pregnancy was any indication, then he won't have any trouble with foods!  He weighs 21 lbs and is 31 inches tall.  He FINALLY started sleeping all night on a regular basis!!!!  Hallelujah!  Will pull up, but not walking yet (thank goodness).  Seeing as his birthday is the day after St. Patrick's Day, I'm afraid he will always have a little green in his birthdays!   It rained that day, so we had alot of the decorations planned for outside - had to move them in - so they didn't get the same effect they were meant to.  :(  but he LOVED his cake and was my only child to dig into it!  He thought it was hilarious that I was actually letting him throw it everywhere!

(his pics below)

Merritt spent a week with Gigi and Poppy in Tennessee.  It was a REALLY nice and much appreciated break from her.  I did feel guilty.  But then again, all my other kids have spent a week with them in the summer (usually all together) -- so it was her first time!  I keep asking myself if its her age (terrible 3's) or if its her personality.   At the moment I think its a little of both.  But she.drives.me.crazy.  I am mentally drained by the end of each day from her alone.  I love her to death and would do anything for her, but her voice sounds like nails scratching down a chalkboard most days.  Constant, loud, and shrieking usually.   I feel like I'm attempting to break that free spirit of hers (with no success), but I honestly don't know what else to do.  She also has to learn to behave and the rules of certain settings.  That's such a fine line to walk.  According to everyone else, she's an angel.  Yeahhhh.... they don't see her at home.  Not buying that for one second.  But here's a pretty angelic picture of her, right? ;)

And Mati Claire is the best big sister that ever lived.  She helps.  She entertains.  She excels at school which makes my job easier.  She behaves.  Just an overall joy to have.  I would be lost without her.  

MC and her best friend Brooke at their 80's class party.

I stopped breastfeeding, and started my Advocare.  I also started my exercise plan for the next 12 weeks through TeamFitMom (www.teamfitmom.com).  It.is.insane.  You can tell its been 2 years since I've worked out!  But will post before/after pics if and when the time calls for it!

My local store/lady "Meme's Bakery" made this and it turned out perfect!  Delicious too!

"Mommy doesn't like for my hands to get dirty...so I'll try it like this..."

"Wait, she's going to let me do it anyway?..."

"and this is just the beginning...this is awesome!"

My sis and me.  excuse the medicine cabinet behind me...but that's real life!

We LOVE our "chachel"

Shenanigans is definitely his middle name!

my "wee one" with her Ty!

"the Luckiest Big Sister" and she knows it.  she loves her siblings even though she won't admit it.  

Breastfeeding

I love breastfeeding.  In March of this year, I will have spent 4+ years having breastfed each baby for one year.  Sorry, but not sorry, this isn't a post to make you judge me or for me to make you feel bad if you didn't.  To each their own.  I know everyone has their own reasons and you do what you have to do to make it work.  I know many people's bodies won't make enough milk and people have to go back to work, mastitis, etc.  However, I personally know too many people who I don't think put forth alot of effort.  Yes, overall I thought it was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.  After having breastfed 4 kids though, I will admit I have to laugh when I hear some people's excuses on why they didn't though.   I think those people just don't want to breastfeed-- which is fine too but I know that must be hard to admit-- so they give excuses instead.  ok!  this post isn't about that and I'll get off my soapbox.

When I had Mati Claire (my first), it was the worst experience of my life.  I never wanted another baby after that.  I felt like I failed already at being a mom on the first day.  Couldn't even dilate to push her out and (being under general anesthesia) didn't even know she was born.  I felt I missed out on being the first person to see her.  I missed out on the "whole experience".   So I made it my mission to put a real attempt on doing the next step: breastfeeding!  Whoever said that breastfeeding is a natural process is totally 100% WRONG!  It was the most un-natural thing I've ever done.  Mati Claire fought me every single time for MONTHS!  Without going into too much detail, I basically had to "get it/letdown started for her".  She was the definition of the word lazy.  The good part is that my body has no trouble whatsoever making milk.  Call me Daisy the cow.  At one point, I pumped out 12 oz from ONE SIDE.  yep.  it was insane.  I digress.  She wouldn't latch.  She didn't enjoy it.  Which made me hate it.  Every trick or hold in the books wouldn't work.  The boob nazis were relentless.  When my nipples were bleeding and I couldn't even let the water in the shower hit them... I truly thought of quitting.  It wasn't suppose to be like that, right?  Bleeding is normal?  that can't be right.

Everyone kept telling me that after 6 weeks it would be fine.  For me, it was closer 8-10 weeks and I still had to use a few tricks to make her do it.  It.was.HARD.work!  I leaked so bad in between I was terrified to go anywhere despite the fact that I was wearing the bra guards (yeah right like those really work). I thought I was prepared by buying my nursing bras ahead of time.  Lesson learned:  don't ever buy nursing bras before your milk comes in.  I went from a C to something larger than an F if I remember correctly. But by the time 8 weeks rolled around, I wasn't about to quit then!  I didn't go through bleeding nipples just to quit!!!

Oh did I cry.  Even though I was nursing her, I still felt like a failure.  I wasn't used to having a baby literally attached to your boobs 24/7.  Mati Claire was a snacker.  She wanted to eat every 2 hours (30 min-90 min during a growth spurt).  It was again, another nightmare.  I couldn't go anywhere -- because I would most definitely have to nurse her at some point -- nurse in public, what???

But stubborn baby met stubborn momma!  Again, I was determined.  So I hung in there.  She eventually quit me around 11 months.  I will never forget it.  She took one sip and un-latched.  She looked up at me, shook her head "no" and sweetly smiled at me.  I couldn't argue with that anymore.  I cried for 2 days.  All that work and it had come to an end... :(

I also learned through her that I DESPISED the breast pump.  I never pumped again until I had to in the NICU with Merritt for 2 weeks.

Then came Mattox.  The piranha.  My poster child for breastfeeding awareness.  He couldn't have been any more opposite of Mati Claire.  He came out (and to my complete shock) grabbed my boob out of thin air and latched on like his life was depending on it (ok it was).  He nursed like he had been doing it in the womb for months before if it was possible.  I was prepared for the struggle and use all the tricks that I was used to with Mati Claire.

Mattox showed me that it WAS completely natural.  And easy.  My boobs never bled.  Sore for a few days maybe.  I think Mati Claire trained them not to leak after a certain time.  So no leaking that time around.  He eventually quit me around 11 months as well.  Gosh he made it easy, I didn't even have to force him to quit. He literally got in, got the job done, and was off.  Never took more than 5 min to nurse that baby!

I definitely lost some modesty during my 4 C-sections.  When too many strangers to count have seen your insides not to mention you naked from the neck down in the operating room-- who cares about seeing some boobs?  Man, I LOVE not having to pack food, heat food up, mix bottles, wash bottles, etc.

Just to give my extended version -- Merritt and Mason were also breastfeeding champions.  Had a hard time weaning Merritt after 15 months but she had good reason with all her physical issues.  She refused to eat for the doctors through a bottle and I was finally allowed to breastfeed after 2 weeks...she was waiting for the real deal and never looked back! And my baby Mason has made it so much fun that I will definitely cry when I wean him in just a few short months.   I'm not one of those people who still breastfeed their toddlers.  I will cut them off around age 1.  I was able to pump extra during those first 2 weeks in the NICU and donated it to the other NICU babies that don't even have mothers there.  Some were orphans.  Some never had their mothers visit them (hard to imagine but true).

As much as I LOVE the time I spent with each one, I am counting down the days till Mason is finished.  I am ready to start back on my diet, I'm ready to wear normal bras again, and I'm ready to sleep on my stomach again.

So yes, I am a pro-breastfeeder.  Each one was different.  Mati Claire fought me and refused to latch, Mattox was my poster child, Merritt truly knew what she wanted and didn't want to let go, and Mason is my funny baby.  He gets so tickled (maybe bc he's so happy?)  that he can't nurse because he's laughing!  Its hilarious.  Sometimes he can't even look at me because he's trying to get back "in the zone" so he'll have to look away to keep from laughing or smiling.  (can't latch well if your'e smiling).  Knowing how happy it makes him, I will have a hard time weaning him as well.  Mati Claire and Mattox both quit me so I didn't have to wean them.

Looking back, the way they breastfed was a huge indicator in how they eat now years later.  Mati Claire is still the pickiest child I have ever seen!  Mattox is my crack addict when it comes to food/sugar.  He still eats like there is no tomorrow.  Merritt still wants the real deal: she wants me to slave over a hot stove with soul food and casseroles. No kid foods for her!  So I'm looking forward to see how this equates to Mason... I'm thinking he will be the one who plays with his food and laughs about it!

This is how you shut down breastfeeding shamers. Read more about Alyssa Milano's activism here: http://attn.link/1Ru58r4Like ATTN: on Facebook.
Posted by ATTN: on Wednesday, January 6, 2016

School Showdowns

I am going to try to blog more!  Not sure if it will actually happen or not, seeing as I practically live in my car now that school has started.  For 2 reasons:

1)  I printed my blog "book" for the past 3 years (this is my second book to print) and my family has had such a fun time looking back at all the pictures and reading some posts.  Its like a family scrapbook in digital form!

2)  I get emails from newly-diagnosed O moms.  So I know they find my blog from their research and I want them to know I'm still here for them.  Most of my posts now won't have anything to do with omphaloceles but I do try to update the tab labeled "Merritt's Story" every few months so its current with her age.

Onto my real post for today:
SCHOOL IS IN!  CLASS IS IN SESSION! 

1) Mati Claire is in 3rd grade this year at Northside.  This is her first year to have more than one teacher.  She was hesitant to get a male teacher but after meeting Mr. Day, she is thrilled and loves him!  Mrs. Renacker is also awesome!  So far each year seems to be a "step up" in the amount of work, homework, level of difficulty… i guess as it should be.  Let me have a mommy brag moment.  Mati Claire makes my job as a parent so easy when it comes to school.  I LOVE this about her.  She says I don't verbally acknowledge this as I do the others, so I am going to try harder to let her know how proud she makes me.  She sets her own alarm clock (and actually gets up on her own), she gets dressed by herself, usually fixes her own breakfast, and doesn't give me any trouble when it comes to homework.  She loves to read and she is my overachiever.  She is the BEST big sister.  As much as she didn't want "mommy to be pregnant again"  she absolutely adores Mason now.  She entertains him while I cook dinner and knows how to make him laugh!  Again, she makes my job as a mom easy and I am so grateful for it!

She is still taking ballet but says she wants to quit after this year.  We will see.  She is NOT athletic in any way, but she wants to try horseback riding (thanks to my sister who snuck that idea in) and possibly tennis?  She loves swim lessons but she doesn't want to join the swim team… just loves taking lessons and perfecting the techniques at her own speed.

2) Mattox-man!  He started Kindergarten at Clinton Park!   He is not enjoying having to wake up early and his first words on the second day were "we have to go AGAIN?"  He gets social anxiety and said he got really nervous in the cafeteria.  Hopefully he'll get used to that soon.

3) Merritt.  wow.  how in the world did she start 3 year old Kindergarten at preschool this year?  She will go Mon-Fri for 3 hours each day (play days are optional and I can leave her longer if she wants).  She is what I call my high-maintenance child.  We couldn't leave the house until her bow, her shoes, and her clothes all matched…and she informed me that I forgot to paint her toenails…oh, the tragedy!  she is all drama and all girl.  She got a good friend of mine, Mrs. Jessica, as her teacher so we're all happy about that!

We are working HARD on potty training.  I had signed her up for ballet this year, but I'm not sure how this is going to workout in that regard.  We may be pulling her out of ballet later.

4) Mason.  Mason Paul!  Mason P!!!  sweet sweetness rolled into 15 pounds of baby fat that I could eat with a spoon.  i want to love on him and hold him and tickle him til the sun comes up.  if he isn't asleep, he is smiling usually.  very happy baby who gets plenty of entertainment from the older kids. he rarely fusses.  someone asked me "How do you get one of those?"  my response was "perhaps you have to have 4?"  because he is the first to be this calm, happy, and content ALL the time!  He is sleeping at least 8 hours at night now (usually from 9-5 or 8-4)  but I don't mind when he wakes up because he usually goes right back to sleep.  He is going to grow up thinking his name is Sweetness.  He is the cherry on top… my sugar in my tea…he is my cake that I get to eat too...yeah, you get the idea!  Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about him.  When I have days that I question why on earth we had 4 kids……. I just look at #4 and wonder how on earth we couldn't?!?!

Don't you love the way he sleeps?  #holdemup