Sunday, September 25, 2016

My Week

You ever have one of those weeks you just want to do over?  Not even one day - I'm talking a full week!?

This week was looking promising as of Sunday.  I've been really pushing my workouts, and my calendar was pretty "empty" except for a few weekly extra-curricular activities for the kids.

Sunday.  woke up.  went to church.  had an AWESOME workout that left me posting about it.  cardio is good for the soul, btw.  Then about an hour later, I started my period.  TMI?  Stay with me.  Since having Mason, these have become my worst nightmare.  Dr. T said its a combination of age, perhaps pre-menopausal, and never good for people that have had 3+ kids.  I've been struggling the past few months and finally decided to schedule a uterine ablation procedure.  Getting that done in 2 weeks and although I'm a little nervous about it, I confirmed that I made the right decision after Sunday.  Even Anaprox, who is normally my best friend, gave me ZERO help. Literally face down on my bed or in the bathroom for 2 straight days.  Not easy to deal with when you have kids or have to sit in car rider line for hours a day.  Should have known then that this week was plummeting.

Monday.  Post-deadline day for the Eastside fundraiser.  I chair that committee so I'm responsible for the bounced checks, late orders, and all things that end with just stupid people.  Absolutely amazed that people don't know who their child's teacher is.  Don't know how to add up their own orders.  Don't READ the directions on the order forms...and therefore don't follow the directions that spell everything out for you.   I digress.  It's my job I volunteered for and I'm used to it.
I pick up Merritt from preschool.  She's scratching her butt and keeps telling me she got mosquito bites.  Nope.  Chiggers.  Fun times.  (and its panty lines not her butt to be exact.)
First Cub Scout meeting for Mattox.  Its at 6:00 pm. Yeah.... my hubby works nights and night times and I don't get along.  That puts us getting home after 7:00 pm... one of my kids is ready for bed, but I still have to bathe and feed all 4 by myself and get them in bed at a decent hour since its a school night.  It sucks big time but my little Cub Scout is worth it, right?  Again, night meetings REALLY don't work for us.
Dealing with whatever seasonal allergy crud I have, I lost my voice this week.  Expending twice as much energy to try to talk when you can't.  I joke that its because I've been yelling at my kids, but truth is just sinus drainage.

Tuesday.  Still dealing with Fundraiser aftermath.  Still amazed at the people turning orders in when the deadline was last Friday.  but ok.  I'm cool like that.
I had made Mati Claire a dermatology appt with the new dermatology dr/clinic in town.  I was super excited to be changing my records over as well (saves me a trip across Jackson from now on).  The dermatologist is the brother of a friend of mine, so again, I was really looking forward to getting to know this clinic -- and also because I frequent dermatology OFTEN with my psoriasis.

The appt was at 3:30pm.  We had to waste a little time before then, so I treated the kids to Smoothie King for an after school snack.  Knowing it was a new office, I made them leave their leftover smoothies in the car before going in.  However, Mason (18 months now) did not get a snack -- and would eat 24/7 anyways -- so I took my smoothie in with me to share with him while waiting.

This is where the shit hit the fan.  While trying to utilize my 15 minutes of me-time earlier in the day, I had stopped at Clinton's fabulous James&Leigh and bought myself a new necklace....a $75 new necklace.  Trying to be the "nice" mom, I let my dress-up queen Mitt wear it.  Telling her repeatedly - and I do mean repeatedly -- do.NOT.break.mommy'!  What does she do?  She breaks my new necklace.  I really blame myself for that.  I mean what was I thinking giving a $75 necklace to a 4 year old?  But at the same time, she didn't listen after I....wait for it... REPEATEDLY TOLD HER to NOT break the necklace.  So yes, I popped her on the bottom in the waiting room because, well...yes, I was mad.
Mason, who is normally pretty quiet and shy (like my older two kids), decides this place is his second home.  He literally tore the place apart.  And then tried to eat the pieces.  The waiting room is white walls, glass figurines and decorations, pamphlets for every cosmetic procedure available in the 21st century, low side tables perfect for his height... he was probably in his own personal nirvana.  He threw a glass ball like it was a baseball across the room.  He threw those pamphlets like they were confetti at a 1999 New Year's Party.  He unplugged every lamp and tried to knock over every single thing in that waiting room.  I ask Mati Claire to help me "watch" the other two while I deal with Mason.  Of course its the one time he doesn't want his Goldfish or milk...nope, he spies my Smoothie.  I look up and notice that every single receptionist, office staff, and patients are and giving me the stank eye.  I probably would be too if I were them.
I ask Mati Claire to go out to the car to see if she can find Mason's pacifier since he has taken his screaming to DEFCON 5.  Nothing wrong with him...just not happy with the fact that I won't give him my Smoothie yet.
If you don't know Mati Claire, she is slower than Christmas.  God bless it.  And I just sent her to the car to find a needle in a haystack.  Of course the nurse calls her back then.
So we wait.
and wait.
and wait some more.
Of course she comes back empty handed.  Because that's how my day is rolling.
Because this is the day from hell.
We all go back to the tiny hot as hell patient-exam room.
Mattox decides to act like a 2 year old and start crawling around on the floor under the row of chairs -- who by the way is WAY too big to be crawling under chairs - therefore he knocks all the chairs over.    I attempt to bribe him with candy later if he will just behave for 30 minutes.  He's not taking the bait.  Mati Claire is now throwing one of her "I'm too sensitive so I'm going to cry because my siblings are frustrating me" meltdowns.  I get it.  She's trying to help.  She really is.. But crying isn't helping me.
Mason is still screaming for multiple reasons.
Merritt is actually somewhat behaving at the moment still reeling from the pop I gave her in the first waiting room.
Mason decides to take the nut/bolt cover from the exam table floor (the bolt that has the bed secured to the floor has a pretty covering over it)...and eat it.   He starts choking and I am literally doing the CPR finger swipe in his throat when the Doctor walks in.
I hand him this spit-drenched piece of plastic instead of shaking his hand.
I apologize to him before even introducing myself because his chairs are knocked over thanks to Mattox.  His patient, Mati Claire, is crying.  Mason is screaming so loud from doing the finger swipe I can't hear what the nurse is asking.
So I decide that now would be a good time to give Mason my Smoothie since he's being unconsolable and quite loud.
In the meantime, Mati Claire has to answer some questions about the reason she is there....telling the nurse who doesn't speak English very well, that she has night sweats, nose bleeds, warts, and perhaps heart palpitations -- NONE of which are necessarily true in the manner she was speaking of.  We get Mati Claire squared away and I ask the Doctor about getting my records transferred over... give him a brief history and ask him some questions.  I literally can't hear what he is saying even though he is 3 feet away from me because Mason is so loud.  Mason takes that moment to pull the Smoothie straw out of the cup and S.L.I.N.G it.... E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E.  Those nice pretty white walls, the table, the floor, the siblings, and ALL.Over.the.Doctor.himself.     And his nice suit.  Its in my hair.  On my hands.  Sticky pink smoothie all over the room.  Not thinking I would need them, I failed to bring in any tissues or wipes or diaper bag.  What kind of exam room doesn't have paper towels??  What the heck do I use to clean up this mess???  My shirt of course.  Of course I chose to wear a "nice", it couldn't have been one of my t-shirts circa 1997.  I am dripping with sweat... because either there are too many people in this confined room, they don't have the A/C turned up, or I am about to die from mortification.  I can NOT get control of my kids.  I have to laugh to keep from crying.   I've apologized a million times already, so the nurse brings the other kids crayons and paper to attempt to occupy them...instead of destroying their office.   2 of my kids threw them back in her face!!! Wth???? Whose kids are these??? Yeah, these are NOT my kids, right???  I can't seem to pick my jaw up off the floor.  I'm still recovering from cleaning up the smoothie, checking to make sure I haven't missed any places, and now Mason is coloring all over these nice pretty WHITE walls with his new crayons!
Yep, you've never seen a momma snatch crayons out a kid's hand so fast.
Luckily he didn't get very far in his masterpiece.
The doctor picks Mason up!!! Since when does he let a stranger pick him up?? oh yeah, the doctor is his new BFF!  Probably so he could lick the smoothie off his face.  


People say you shouldn't be embarrassed by your own young children.  Nope. Absolutely not true.  I was beyond embarrassed.  We finally leave and I assure the office staff that I'm not crazy.  I will check my kid out of school next time and bring just ONE.  And believe it or not, my kids normally don't act like this!!! They're nodding their heads like 'yeah, sure, whatever. bye, felicia!'

I was so THAT mom Tuesday.  The one that everyone hates.  The one people say "geez woman, get control of your kids!"   I'm still trying to figure out what the heck happened in there.

Wednesday.  Kids bring home graded papers and tests on Wednesdays.  Mati Claire. Mati Claire.  Wow.. She brings home her SECOND big whopping F.   yep, an eeeeefffffffff!  eeefffffffin' what you say??? as in, FAILED?  What?? That's not mine and Matt's kid, right??  No kid of ours would bring home ANOTHER F, right?
Me:  "Matt, did you ever bring home an F in elementary school?"
Matt:  "nope."
Me:  "me neither."

So what do I feel is a good punishment and motivation for this?  I have to call my SIL and tell her that we are cancelling Mati Claire's planned sleepover with her cousin.  :(
Parenting is hard.

Thursday.  I can't remember much about Thursday other than I can see Mati Claire's red swollen puffy eyes from car rider line.   She's been crying.  Hard.  AGAIN.  What the heck now?  One of those CRAZY Fundraising people who can't seem to get their money to me when they're supposed to sent her $20 that was short.  The school secretary gave it to Mati Claire to give to me (since I had already been to the school and the bank twice that day).  IN THE 15 MINUTES that she was in car rider line, she loses it.  We think someone stole it out of her backpack, but regardless, it was in her possession and then it wasn't.  There's a whole lot more to that story, but again, parenting is hard.
Do I make her take it out of her piggy bank to replace the $ she lost even though it may or may not have been her fault?
Do I make the PTO eat it?
Do I tell the lady who sent it, that we lost it after it was a week late?
Do I even give the lady her change out of my pocket because she's now calling me asking if I sent her change home with her daughter?

crazy. stupid. people.

and Mati Claire is so innocent she can't imagine why anyone would take a $20 bill out of her backpack.  Hard lessons learned this week about money.

Jesus. Its only Thursday.  Ballet day.  Swim day.  Again, my busiest day of the week.  My best friends call and want to set up a playdate with all of our kids (which gives us mommies a time to socialize and chat up -- which in our defense-- we haven't gotten together once since school started!).  Yeah, well, Mati Claire is grounded.

Do I punish the other kids and not let them got to the park because one of mine is grounded?
Do I make Mati Claire sit on the bench with me the whole time?
Where do I cut off the punishments for each incident?
Similar situation that happens often:  its not fair for the other kids not to attend a birthday party when one of the siblings is sick.

Parenting is hard.  And no snarky comments about having too many kids.  That's neither here nor there and a little too late for that.

I think I need another Smoothie.  Or a drink.  Or a Xanax.

So what are you doing on a Friday night?  We are working on Mati Claire's star constellation poster project instead of getting a sleepover. :(  I am learning that I have to punish myself in a manner of speaking to follow through on the kids' punishments.

And then I remind myself that that is what is wrong with kids these days.  They never get told no.  They never have to earn anything.  Or get truly punished for anything.  And I refuse to be that parent.

:)  Cheers.

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