Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Getting Old-er and Wise-er

I'm turning 35 next month.  I thought 33 was hard.  Physically, I definitely feel old.  I have never had it diagnosed - but I know I have psoriatic arthritis.  I don't take medication for it, but my joints hurt pretty much constantly.  I can't sneak up on my kids (...i.e. Tooth Fairy) because my knees crack and get loud when I walk.  My elbows start to throb when I wash/scrub my hair in the shower.  I use to be able to run 6 miles a day, and now I can barely do 0.5 mi before my knee feels like a knife is stabbing it.  

I'm not complaining (ok maybe a little), but instead of working out as much as I would like to, I started Advocare.  I use a gym that has a childcare facility - but when you have a Merritt, you can't really use that as much as you would like (I'm not risking exposing her to viruses and germs before her surgery this month).  At least it will help me on the days that I can't work out.  or to the extent I would like to.  I'm down 10 pounds in a month!  My goal was to lose 20, so I have 10 more to go!  and I actually didn't like the Spark drink at first, but my word.... I can't live without it now!  I have dropped the cokes and carbonated beverages thanks to that!  

As I'm getting older, I feel like my eating has taken control.  I think subconsciously its because I can control what goes in my mouth (or I'd like to think I can) on the days that I feel like i have no control over anything.  Most days my kids are driving me insane, so it makes me feel better to eat.  I finally understand what "comfort food" is all about.  I've always been the type to eat whatever whenever I wanted... but around age 30, the metabolism and age caught up with me finally. 

We've been cleaning out the attic and upstairs, and switching some bedrooms around... I came across my wedding dress.  We're close to 10 years now.  I opened the bag to see how bad it had yellowed or aged in the attic (no I never had it professionally boxed up and treated).  To my surprise it only had 1 spot on the inside slip at the bottom.  Still perfectly white and fluffy and beautiful.  Still a size 6.   My new goal is to at least be able to put it back on (maybe not comfortably).    Not sure if that will ever happen, but I can try.  

Yep... getting old.  I've never dyed my hair - but I started getting it "glossed".  It's a washable gloss that covers gray (for just a few), but I have to get it redone every 6 weeks.  Most everyone says, "your hair looks darker."  well, yeah, when you're going gray - I have to go darker!  ;)  and I totally blame Merritt for every single one of those grays.  ;)  

On the other hand, I have to focus on what IS right in my world.  Most of the time all I see is the negative.  The weight struggle.  The kids doing everything wrong instead of right.  We're planning our 10 year anniversary trip soon.  How did I get so lucky?  10 years!  I'm not trying to step on toes here, but my friends are getting divorced left and right.  I don't understand that at all.  More and more people are dying or losing loved ones.   Getting old is down right depressing.  I was saying prayers with Mati Claire a few nights ago.  She was making a mental list (yes, she is my girl because she's a list maker); but she was listing her favorite people and being thankful for them.  I had to correct the "order" of her list and tell her to move Jesus and God to the first place.  I explained that if we didn't love Jesus first, then nothing else would matter.   My world is right when I have Jesus first... its still hard, but I get through it a whole lot easier.

What else is right?  This stinker right here:

Got her purse on her shoulder...watching sibs play outside ... waiting on them to pick her up
Gobbling up Thanksgiving dinner! 
Having just discovered the Christmas tree - caught her pulling the cord and ornaments!
When God was passing out personalities, he pulled the biggest one out for her! I had to laugh today because I was remembering ALL the ultrasounds we had with Mitt... the MRI technician said she had NEVER seen a baby that active in utero during an MRI... and she said the baby should receive an award... hence "the Merritt Award" was conceived.  And the girl just doesn't stop.  She is into EVERYTHING and EVERYWHERE!  Not being able to walk does NOT stop her!

For all the O moms out there that are questioning whether its "right" to bring a child into this world with "issues" ... please don't terminate your pregnancy.  Just look at those above pictures and see that you would never even know something was "wrong" with her.  I know of several O mommies that are not a part of the Facebook group.  There is 1 mother pregnant with an O baby right now and is contemplating abortion.  Most people commented and messaged her not to.  Some went with the pro-choice answer.  Some admitted they had actually had an abortion already and gave their stories.  The original post really bothered "the older and wiser ones".  Its a topic we all have thought of at one point, but it rarely gets discussed on that site.  Now that I am OLDER, I look back and wish I had known then what I know now! 
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