This One's Gonna Hurt

1)  Another January…. another birthday.  Yep turning 35 on Sunday.  Ouch.  I feel about 70.  No lie: I started taking Pilates again this week ---- and its all classical soothing nature type music playing --- even the teacher with a microphone is whispering or barely talking --- we're doing some type of bent leg lift ---- and we all start laughing because it wasn't the 10 ladies over the age of 65 surrounding me ---but my arthritic knees CRACKING and POPPING loudly with every single movement!  I feel every minute of 35.  Can NOT seem to lose weight anymore like I used to, I am addicted to my Advocare Spark drink since energy left this body with the birth of Mati Claire 6 years ago, I use Rodan & Fields to minimize my aging plus psoriatic skin, I desperately need to go get my arthritis checked out… yeah I could go on and on.  

2)  I decided NOT to do any birthday parties this year.  Hard to believe right?  And trust me, the closer it gets to Mattox's birthday in early March, I am feeling MORE and MORE guilty.  His birthday is the first Sunday of our Spring Break.  He is my only baby to have a birthday during the school year so I'm taking an assortment of cupcakes to his preschool class the Friday before.  As much as he just loves attention (insert sarcasm) he is perfectly fine hanging out with his best friend, Matthew, and getting some ice cream on the actual day.  He told me "4 is just one more closer to turning FIVE!!!!"  Obviously he is counting down the days til he turns 5…. and yes, he wants to go to Disney World with Gigi when he's 5.  His wish is my command.  ;)     Mati Claire asked to go to the beach this year for her birthday… so I think I can manage that one.  I'm willing to bet a dinner at Jerry's Catfish will be in our future as well.  Girl loves her some fried catfish!  Then she recently changed her mind and wants to go to an American Girl Doll Store (closest stores are in Atlanta or Dallas I think).  Hmmm… decisions.    And sweet baby Merritt had such a big party last year -- and the fact that she won't remember this one -- so we're taking it easy this summer!  
But it does hurt me to NOT do a party.  I love throwing parties and I love coming up with ideas for them after they tell me what kind of party they want. #itsnotaboutme

3)  Just say NO!  For some reason this word comes easy to some people.  It hurts me to say no to people I know need help or volunteers.  Mati Claire's school is awesome and its because of parent support and help.  This year I was Homeroom mom for Mati Claire and Mattox and PTO Fundraiser Chair = too much for me! As much as it pains me, I am going to have to say NO to a few things next year when it comes to school (for me, not the kids).  Mati Claire will be changing schools next year, so it will be a good time to pullback before Mattox gets there.  

4)  "This hurts me more than it hurts you."  Have you said that to your child yet?  I said it the first time I ever spanked Mati Claire about 4 years ago.  Lately, I feel like all I do is yell, scream, and say things I shouldn't to my kids.  In my defense, it is usually because they are slow as molasses and we are always late.  I become "Unglued"  (awesome book if you haven't read it).   I recently had a conversation with a person I had just met and they were comparing my kids to someone else's kids.  She said, "Yeah, [insert name] is so nice to her kids… but your kids are the opposite… you must be the mean mommy."  There you have it.  A total stranger telling me I was a mean mom.  
I felt about |this big|.
Of course the next day I had to ask Mati Claire and Mattox what they thought of my parenting skills to which MC replied "You're the best mommy ever!"   Isn't that something???  She also added "You have your bad days… but so do I."  I'll be working on improving my bad days.  The next day we discussed how "Daddy is nocturnal."  interesting stuff.  

So that's sort of my unofficial New Years Resolution list:  no birthday parties, become a nicer mom but still be mom, less commitments that take time away from family, and find the fountain of youth!  ;)