Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The NICU will GET U!!

We had our NICU tour today.  I don't know what I was expecting - though I've heard a few stories from people that have experienced it.  Let me tell you nothing can prepare a person for that.  I am SO glad we decided to see it BEFORE Merritt gets here.  At least I know what to expect later.

First we saw the different possibilities to actually get to the NICU floor as far as parking garages, elevators, doors, etc.

Then we visited the check-in desk.  You sign in with identification.  And if you are not her grandparent, you must be accompanied by me or Matt.  Everyone must "scrub-in" for 3 minutes (and yes there is an automatic timer on the water and sink area) using their soap and disposable brushes.  Then you must "gown up".

You see the nurses' station first.  There is a East and West Wing.  This is where I lost it.  Right in front of the nurses.  I had to pretend to look at something behind me to hide the tears that I did not foresee coming.   I have no idea what they were telling me because all I could think and tell myself was 'pull yourself together! she's not even here yet!'  and I could see a tiny arm or a tiny leg in the distance.  And I heard the beeping!! No, its not quiet in there.  It sounded like 100 alarms going off all at the same time!  Overwhelming to say the least.

We never got close to a baby but I wanted to pick up every single one of them!!!!! They were tiny and cute and sick and some mommies weren't there (no offense to them).  If anyone needs a reality check - go visit a NICU.  It was totally depressing and sad.  At times, there were no words to describe some of the babies I saw.  And at the same time, it was sweet.  They are getting help, they are getting better perhaps, they are getting stronger.  Just a whirlwind of emotions!

We were glad to see our new home away from home though.  We met alot of the nurses and staff.  Talked about the NICU rules and what will most likely happen with Merritt.  She will start out in the Warmer bed, then when she's stable she should step up to the isolette/incubator bed, and then the crib.  I don't get to put clothes on her until she reaches the crib stage! Oh my... how will I ever make it that long? ;)  At least she gets to wear hair bows until then.   They said the clothes will interfere with the bed's temperature regulating process.  "It's for her own's for her own good... it's for her own good...."

"For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you.'" Isaiah 41:13

"And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.""  2 Corinthians 12:9


Erica said...

You are amazing and strong. I just wanted you to know.

Pamela said...

Oh and He will!! He WILL be strong for you. Somehow you will make it through some of the roughest days filled with the most unimaginable tasks and you will have NO other explanation other than He carried you. It will be THE most amazing experience. Not everyone has or will experience it. You ARE blessed and you ARE chosen for this part of His plan!! No matter what the world thinks...this IS a blessing!! The things you will experience and the things God will show about Himself will stay with you. You are doing wonderful in your "test of faith!"

Cari said...

You are my hero!!!! You continually amaze me just like sweet merritt does. She reminds me of her mama! Every day you both get stronger and stronger. Your testament is extraordinary and this is just the beginning. And for what it's worth clothes are overrated ;) Accessories are what really makes the look and Merritt will be accessorized with only the finest hair bows we can find!