Friday, March 2, 2012

Amnio Appt

I had written a post the night before my amnio, but it was very sad and depressing ... so I decided not to post it.  Lets just say I have cried alot on the days leading up to my appointment.  Was beginning to get down and had an overall negative feeling about it.  The procedure has really been out of mind the last 2 weeks so I honestly did not think about the results or any of the possibilities.  She doesn't move as much as my other 2 babies did, and I remind myself that every baby is different and that does not mean anything.

I have learned that I deal with issues by ignoring them, pushing them out of mind or on the back burner.   But eventually it will catch up with you and you are forced to deal with it.

March 1st crept quickly.  The amnio really decides ours and her future.  It can be the greatest or worst day ever.  Babies with omphaloceles have UP to a 60% chance of having a chromosomal abnormality among other defects.   In the middle of one of my cry-sessions, I started praying (I tend to do that when I feel out of control).  I was telling God that we/doctors can fix an omphalocele.... but I can't fix a chromosomal problem... I can't fix trisomy... I can't fix this.  Now I am beginning to think that I am going a little insane. My thoughts range from one extreme to the other.  Then I feel guilty for even thinking some things.  But I heard God whisper in my ear "[No YOU can't fix it] ............. but I can."   The I WAS, the I AM, and the I WILL BE.  He has been reminding me that even if she does have a chromosomal problem and doesn't survive here on earth, she will be okay.  still.  She will be with HIM! And that's SO much better than life here.  No, it doesn't make it any easier but it does give me the peace and understanding that I so desperately need.  So I went to the appointment very frazzled and pessimistic.  I thought that overall we were due some more bad news soon.  Matt kept my mind at ease while we played Family Feud on his iPhone.  Waiting in the waiting room for 1 hour didn't help.  

We did the ultrasound first and then the amnio.  I was floored with emotions. And quite the opposite of what I was expecting.  Baby girl looks GREAT (minus the omphalocele)!!! Dr. P couldn't find anything that had developed since our last appointment.  AND she has a fully functioning umbilical cord now!  (She had the second artery last time but there was not adequate blood flow or it appeared to be 'cut off' somehow) but that second artery was working fine! Wow.  Praise God!  He looked at her heart for at least 30 minutes, and could not see anything abnormal at this stage.  I still have to get a fetal echo at my next appointment, but he was optimistic.  Her stomach was still where it should be, and no other organs had protruded into the O sac.  He reminded me that it is still very possible that organs can move into the sac (besides the intestines and liver).  She loves to wave at us and was completely stretched out.  She tried to hide a few times so Dr. P called her "secretive."  I thought that was funny = she is such a girl!

The umbilical cord is not inserted in the placenta correctly (should be on top of it but its in the side) but he was not worried about it.  Dr. P is so level-headed.  As optimistic as he could get, he also reminds us that she could still not make it for numerous reasons.  Even though she appears to be 'fine' now, there are so many things that could develop as she gets bigger.  Scoliosis, heart defects, more organs protruding, diaphragm issues, O sac rupturing, obviously amnio could show chromosomal abnormalities, stillborn, SIDS, and the list goes on.

But for the FIRST time ---- I.WAS.EXCITED. to see her!!! I know Dr. P tries to bring me back to a realistic level but I couldn't help myself.  For the first time in 18 weeks, I thought to myself.. "she's going to be ok."

Dr. P kept my mind on other things and kept me laughing the whole time.  Um, while he's pulling out needles the length of my arm.  The lidocaine shot to numb my stomach hurt the worst.  Like a really big bee sting.  Reminded me of my spinal block for my C-sections.  Then he went with the actual amnio needle.  Didn't hurt until he had to go through my uterus.  Yep... that was bound to leave a mark.  I didn't DARE look down at my stomach, but I could see the needle on the ultrasound screen.  Very weird.  It was in a pocket of fluid down by her feet.  He pulled 3 vials of fluid out (approximately 15 ml's) and it looked like urine! Not sure what I expected amniotic fluid to look like, but I was surprised at yellow water.  My water has never broken with my previous pregnancies - so maybe its the same as that?  The amnio went well.  He rechecked baby's heartbeat and said she didn't even know we were there! lol.  Um, is this a clone of Mati Claire?  She reminds me SO much of MC already.  I got down from table and went to the bathroom to get dressed.  The nurse had told me all the things to expect after a procedure like this.  As I was getting dressed, I thought to myself "man, i must be one of the lucky ones - i feel fine."  THEN I took about 5 steps out of the bathroom.  And they.are.not.lying.  Contractions and cramping! Whoa! Okay, so maybe I'm not one of the lucky ones.  lol ;)  The contractions have stopped but I am extremely sore.  Feel like I've run about 5 miles and I have a cramp in my side.  Feel like a truck hit me.  Feel like I got a giant flu shot in my stomach.  lol  But the best part is I am not going to spend the next 10 days crying over it.  Baby girl has given me hope.  And I left the office with a smile on my face!!!

The countdown is on.  Results come back in 9-10 days.  We are looking for all chromosomal abnormalities but primarily trisomy 13, 18, 21 (Down's), and a few others.  I would greatly appreciate the continuing of prayers.  Matt was holding my hand during the procedure and God had the other.  And I think baby girl would have given me her hand too if she could have (see pic below).  ;)

T minus 1 day...

First picture was almost a month ago:  waving to us.  I just want to reach out and touch it!  
Second picture is her sweet profile yesterday. ~19 wks
Third picture is her omphalocele.  ~19 wks.
Isn't she beautiful? :)

God is GOOD!  Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes.


Pamela said...

Thanks for posting an update!!! Will continue to pray! It's that one good day filled with hope that will keep you going through all of the ones that aren't:) Love you!!

Erin said...

Thanks for the update! Glad to hear it. I know it's tough, but you have the right attitude. Will continue praying for your family!